a screw up

well maybe i am going to England after all...

i dunno

i probably shouldn't do anything. i should probably just try not to fail my lit class because otherwise i will for sure

i think i really messed everything up

i don't even remember how

wish i wasn't so depressed

i dunno even where it came from cuz i had new friends even tho it's hard to hang out with new people and i had good food even tho i probably ate too much of it and i had been having a pretty good week...

oh well

so much for that

guess the bottom line is i really don't deserve to go on vacation

cuz unfortunately intending to get work done doesn't get it done

i think intended entirely too much and forgot to actually do it

i was better off as a freaking perfectionist with no life

at least in middle school i got my work done and got straight As with over 100%

now i'm just lazy and stupid

somehow i managed to not even start my paper yet

i've been writing it in lists of things to do ever since i started school

and i tried to research once in a while

everything i do here is so pointless tho

why do i even need a french minor? why am i here?

i think living abroad is an awesome thing but school is horrible

i dunno if it's just this program or what but according to me studying abroad is just stupid...it's too hard to try to integrate yourself into another country's education program that has been training their students since day one how to fit in.

the other thing is that i barely ever speak french. i read in french but i don't speak it except with my french friends which are few if i even see them

ack

more later we're going to go eat i guess...i dunno why...cuz i already did...but we're going...